Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can read

What are the coolest new smart home gadgets to upgrade your living space?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why do the Republican city officials at Springfield Ohio continue to deny that immigrants are eating pets to sabotage the Trump campaign, even though immigrant pet-eating is now widely believed to be true?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for fakery

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What are the common formulas for improvising ornaments in bel canto singing?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I see through liars

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why do I feel bad when I see white girls dating black guys, am I racist?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Do married men like sucking dick?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What is a sermon to talk about men?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have BPD. Why do I destroy everyone I love?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What are some things you would change about Avatar: The Last Airbender if you were to redo the series?

I don’t cotton to rapists

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Help. I’m 16 and just got spanked by both of my parents for taking the car. What do I do? I want to run off somewhere but I’m so scared that I’ll get spanked again. I’ve never gotten the paddle before and I’m still scared to sit

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What are the most common signs that a partner will cheat before it happens?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I actually pay taxes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I can count

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t